So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
