My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
