2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
