I just made out with a guy for $7.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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