She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
