does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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