No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am naked and annoyed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
