What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
