my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
