Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just forgot I was standing up.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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