I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
