Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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