Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
