Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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