just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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