remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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