Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
