in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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