just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
