apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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