Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
