i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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