marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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