i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My hand turned me down
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
