i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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