There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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