party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
