is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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