The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
