She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
