you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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