Can Purell be used as lube?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
