Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
