I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
