Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
the liver wants what the liver wants
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
