she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
