Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish you could order shots online.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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