yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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