I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize