he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
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Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
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I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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