Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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