There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize