Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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