She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
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So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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