i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize