I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
