me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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