As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
