shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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