She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
