We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you still have your period?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
