just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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