I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
