Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
