My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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