i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
