I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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