Me too!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
