You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
