i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize